Sunday, February 17, 2008

Weepy plea

The closer the anniversary gets, the more weepy I become. This past week, everything has made me sad. I broke down while watching "Full House" fan tribute videos on Youtube. I broke down while reading a letter that was written by a woman with whom Michael works (the combination of gross misspellings and grammatical errors with the content-her grandmother is now ill and as a result she needed to change shifts- was overwhelming). I broke down at the realization that time is quickly fading and I have this one and only chance to spend time with my children and to enjoy their sweet hugs and kisses, resulting in my surrendering to the donut's need to sleep cuddled into my back ready to aim and fire her little sucker kisses at any given moment. And just today, my nearly four-year-old son made yet another Valentine's day card for his wonderful perfectly fabulous father. When I opened it and I looked closely I realized that he had written his name-something I've been working on with him for a while. He proudly announced, "I made that sun all by myself." I don't know if it was the fact that he is big enough to write his name or that he had finally drawn something or that he was so sweet about it or WHAT but something tugged at my heart strings and immediately the water works began. It is so hard for me to not be able to share these great feats with you. I want more than anything to be able to help Hunter write you a letter or draw you a picture. I want to let him call you and tell you all about his day like he does with his other grandparents. It's not fair. It's not fair that there is no one in my family for him to call. Michael is all that I have. I'm mad. I'm so pissed.

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