Dear Mama,
The children and I are watching "The Gravy Bunch". I started to tivo some of the shows from my childhood in order to provide the kids with a bit of a peak into who I am. Since I spent so many hours watching television, I felt this was a good place to start. Of course, for the most part they watch preschooler television like "Franklin" or "Calliou" but I must admit to letting them watch lots of old sit coms. Just this morning I overheard Hunter singing, "And it takes different strokes, it takes different strokes. Different strokes to move the world". Perhaps he could be spending his time doing something more constructive but allowing him to watch the tv that I grew up serves more than just a baby-sitter purpose for me. In addition to keeping him preoccupied, it also helps us to have things in common. It is just so much easier for me to curl upand watch "Facts of Life" on demand with them than it is for me to watch "Dora the Explorer". So, he should be well versed in 80's pop culture references by the time he goes to school (if he goes to school) and I'm totally okay with that. At least we'll "get" each other.
At any rate, we are watching "The Gravy Bunch" and I swear I didn't tell him to say that. I called it by its correct name. But when he looked at me and said, "What is "The Gravy Bunch" about?" I couldn't help but say, "What did you say?". And he repeated it. Yep. Gravy. Suddenly I was swept back to lying in your arms at... Ronin's age? while you rocked me in the rocking chair and sang to me with your sweet sweet voice. First you would sing "The Gravy Bunch" and then "Jesus Loves Me" and "You Are My Sunshine" and that is all I remember. That and how great it felt. Our days were so peaceful and soothing. My time with you was so precious. I desperately long to be held in your lap while you sing to me and hold me so tightly. I also can't help but feel a little sad that Hunter is quickly becoming too old to be held and rocked. He is so tall. He is so grown up. And with the occasionally exception, he is so well-mannered, mature, responsible, polite, and likable. We are very similar. It's the girl to whom I cannot relate. Though I love her just as much and sometimes a little more... based upon her big brother's behavior. But regardless, he is the one I feel closest too. Especially now that he's over his daddy obsession and seems to like us both equally.
What I wouldn't give for them to know you. For them to have just a day to peak in on us 16 years ago, shopping and laughing and being the best of friends. It pains me to know that they will never see that, know that, feel that. But I will try my hardest to recreate it for them
. And what's even cooler than anything I can give them is the fact that they have each other. That is a priceless amazing gift. I'm often envious of what they have together.

Your daughter, your sister, your bestest friend,
Mandy

PS, Look. Hunter loves puzzles like you did.